Style is a skill you can learn, not something that some people are born with and you weren't. I know it feels that way, though, because I felt that way too. It's just not true.
I'm actually not a fashion person at all. I'm an ex-software engineer, not a personal stylist. But in my late 20's, as I settled into the life I'd built for myself, I realized: I feel miserable in all my clothes. Style was a painful missing puzzle piece. I had a steady job, a husband I loved, I lived in a cool city — and I desperately wanted to look and feel as confident and self-assured as I knew I was. Instead, I was agonizing over every outfit decision, rushing to the mall after work just to see what was on sale, and as the meme goes, working 40 hours a week to spend my hard-earned money on stuff I didn't even like.
So much of my energy was being sucked into this negative spiral. I like style, and clothes—but I wanted out. I wanted my clothes to support the person I wanted to be: my dreams, my financial goals. I read all the books, tried all the things, wasted all the hours and dollars. Eventually, though, I discovered the secret: style is a skill, not a magic gift bestowed by fairies at birth. (Weird! Wish someone had told me that earlier.)
Then, I got determined. I figured out my style not by learning to "shop like a stylist" or how to stay on trend. I figured out my style by turning inward, by getting strategic. I learned about proportion and fit, so I could understand why certain clothes looked amazing or appalling on me. (I might be straight sized, but this 🍑 doesn't fit in just any pair of pants, ok?) I explored slow fashion and sustainable style, learning how my values fit into my wardrobe. (And yeah, I went through the inevitable Elizabeth Suzann beige phase.) I stopped going to the damn mall. I created systems like my Personal Wardrobe Hub tool, and practiced the everyday mindset and habit changes that finally made my style feel like part of my life.
You know how we always say we want "effortless" style? Well, I did, too. It wasn't until I realized that effortless was a feeling, and not something I could buy, that I found it. It turns out, the more you reach for some external vision of "effortless style," the farther away it will always feel. Instead, effortless style comes from within. (And with it, the confidence to wear, say, a white suit. If you wanted.)
Now, I call that wardrobe ease. Wardrobe ease means no more last-minute frantic shopping before events, because you already have a favorite fancy dress. No more, "is this cute? do you think I should get it?" because you have self-trust and know what works for you. No more obsessing over the new arrivals page—because you like everything in your closet better. Can you picture that for yourself? If not, well, I'll keep holding the faith for you til you're ready.
I believe that you have incredible style, just waiting to be expressed. And all you need? Are a few new skills, a few mindset shifts, and a willingness to show the fuck up into your life.
I think the "showing the fuck up" part is really important. Style isn't just about the clothes—it's about who you are, inside and out. It's self-expression. It's our armor for the day. It's how we navigate BS beauty standards in the world. It's our gender, race, culture, religion. It's a hobby, and it can be fun! Style helps us channel the best parts of ourselves, and prove to ourselves that we deserve to be present, powerful, and active participants in our life.
That's why I created The Unfolding. The Unfolding is everything I learned about creating authentic style, minus all the shit that will waste your time. It's a deep-diving personal style development lab, where you can define your style, learn to shop strategically, and find wardrobe ease... in WAY less time than it took me. The Unfolding is about authentic personal style, yes, but it's ALSO about creating undeniable self-trust so you can show up fully into your life. Yes, you'll learn about fit, body proportions, color theory, and create style words. (And a ton more!) But the REAL magic is in the strategies that will dissolve shopping overwhelm, reveal style "shoulds", and ground your decision-making in your values.
There's no time like the present—so when you're ready, let's do this damn thing.